16 years ago today, I wrote this in my journal:
Praise Jesus Christ! He used me to lead Shannon to Him! I had to talk with her for about an hour and a half, but she prayed with me and accepted Him! The Spirit really spoke through me two nights ago. She just couldn’t argue because the Lord gave me an answer to every question. Now I’m praying for her a lot. She could be under strong demonic attack. I know I have.
– October 26th, 1998
Dear Former Self,
Well, you did it. You badgered someone into believing as you do. Now you can put a notch in your belt and feel proud that you led someone to Christ. But I should point out that just because you had an answer to every question doesn’t mean a holy spirit was speaking through you. There are people in this world who are completely full of shit and have an answer for everything. Just because you kept coming up with answers doesn’t mean they were good answers.
Has it even occurred to you that Shannon might like you? She always wants to hang out with you during your lunch break, and she was willing to let you preach at her for an hour and a half after work. But you are so obsessed with your relationship with Christ that you haven’t even considered the possibility of a relationship with a real person. For once stop thinking about Christianity and just look around.
As for your demons… if only you knew how crazy you sound. You actually believe there are invisible demons whispering in your ear. Do you have any empirical evidence whatsoever? Of course not. All you have are writings by primitives who thought people having strokes or seizures were possessed by demons. That’s pretty flimsy evidence for such an outrageous belief. The truth is that when you have an angry or lustful thought, it’s not because you have a demon whispering in your year–it’s because you’re human.
— Matt, October 26th, 2014
This is part of an ongoing series called Letters to My Former Self.