Jesus Jargon
My wife and I have a road trip game called “Jesus Jargon.” Here’s how it works. First, find a Christian music station. They’re usually somewhere in the 80’s on the FM dial, and they’re easy to identify by that clean, dull, generic Christian music sound.
When a song starts, everyone says what word they expect to hear in the song lyrics. Whoever hears their word first wins the round. This might sound kind of boring, but if you choose the right kind of word you’re almost guaranteed to hear it before the song ends. Here are a few good ones: eternal, faith, father, forgiveness, glory, god, heart, heaven, holy, immanuel, jesus, king, life, light, lord, love, mighty, praise, righteous, risen, salvation, savior, shepherd, sin, soul, worship, worthy… you get the idea.
Usually after only a few minutes we’ve already played best 3 out of 5, then we get sick of listening to Christian music and change the station. Although we could probably play a similar game with a pop station using words like “baby” or “dance”, the game works best with Christian music. But why?
Because Christian music is the only genre of music defined not by the style and instrumentation, but by the content of the lyrics. It doesn’t matter if it’s country, pop, rap, or rock. As long as the lyrics reflect Christian tenets in a positive way, it’s “Christian music.”
Why I Threw Away My CD’s
Back when I was in high school–in the days before MP3s and Spotify–I had a huge collection of CDs: Aerosmith, Foo Fighters, Guns n’ Roses, Korn, Marilyn Manson, Metallica, Nirvana, Pantera… pretty much all the most popular grunge, hard rock, and heavy metal bands.
After I rededicated my life to Christ, I decided all my secular music CDs were an insult to God. So I gathered them up and threw them into the trash. I only wanted to listen to music that was “honoring to God.” Unfortunately, this didn’t leave me with very many options.
The day after I threw my CDs away, I went to the Christian book store to see what I could find. In the music section there was a helpful guide that showed the Christian equivalents of secular bands. For example, it said that if you like Aerosmith you might also like Petra, if you like Foo Fighters you might also like Switchfoot, if you like Guns n’ Roses you might also like Guardian, and so forth.
Of course, these bands were mere carbon copies of their secular counterparts (if that), but since secular music was off the table, I had to make do. Somehow I learned to like several Christian rock bands. My favorites included Audio Adrenaline, Caedmon’s Call, DC Talk, Jars of Clay, Newsboys, Plumb, and Third Day.
Looking back on it now, it’s hard to believe I listened to that music. Don’t get me wrong, those bands have some good songs. But the overall quality pales in comparison to what I listened to in high school. I think I got used to that music the same way people get used to eating health food and even learn to love it. Then when they have a piece of candy for the first time in months, they’re amazed at how sweet it is.
Back to the Dark Side
A couple years later I was driving home from work and thought, “I wonder what they’re playing rock stations these days?” I literally hadn’t heard a secular rock song in almost 2 years. What new songs had come out? Were there any popular new rock bands?
I reached for the dial–then I hesitated. What if Satan was tempting me? What would Jesus do? I laughed. Surely it wasn’t a sin to listen to a few minutes of secular radio. I was only curious. So I tuned to a local rock station…
And then I heard it. A dark, heavy, rising guitar riff accompanied by deep bass and loud drums and a singer that sounded pissed. He sang, “Do like I told you, stay away from me! Never misunderstand me, keep away from me!” The song was Keep Away by Godsmack.
It’s hard to describe the feeling I had. It was like I had been living in a foreign country and just heard my native language for the first time in years. I understood this song. It touched on the kind of dark feelings we’ve all had: anger, frustration, hatred. It didn’t make me feel those things–it just made understand those feelings again. It made me feel strong and in control of those feelings. And it was so. Damn. Good. This song wasn’t just candy–it was an ice cream sundae!
The Language of Emotions
I believe the main reason we listen to music is empathy. When we hear a song–whether it’s fun or beautiful or sad–we relate to that feeling and are able to connect with the person who wrote it. Music is the language of emotions. But in contemporary Christian music, there aren’t many negative emotions. You have to be happy all the time, like you supposedly will be in Heaven. After all, there won’t be angry or sad music in Heaven, right? So for those of us who experience negative emotions–guilt, grief, hatred, etc.–there are very few outlets in Christian music.
It’s as if Christian artists intentionally scrub away all the deep, dark sounds in their music until all that’s left is pale and squeaky clean. They take out all the interesting flavors and textures until the final product is pure and disgustingly bland.
It’s a shame, really. Outside the Christian bubble there’s a whole world filled with other ideas and feelings, but most fundamentalists want nothing to do with that world. If all you listen to is Christian music, you’re like someone who only watches Pixar movies. Sure, some of them are pretty good, but you’re missing out! Every now and then you need a good action or horror movie for a change.
Sure, there are some Christian bands that are really heavy. There’s even such a thing as Christian death metal, believe it or not. For example, Scorned by the band, Broken Flesh. But even in this case, the lyrics are still Christian. In fact, this particular song is about an atheist burning in Hell and wishing he hadn’t denied God. Nice, huh? If you could understand the singer, it would be a good song for the Jesus Jargon game since the lyrics include the words eternal, god, sin, and soul.
Even the heaviest Christian bands seem obligated to only write lyrics that have something to do with their religion. If they didn’t, it wouldn’t be “Christian music.” But why do so many musicians who happen to be Christians have to be “Christian musicians?” If you’re a Christian and a teacher, do you have to be a “Christian teacher” and only work at private schools? If you’re a Christian and a baker, do you have to be a “Christian baker” and put crosses or Bible verses on every cake? Why can’t Christian musicians write songs that aren’t about their faith?
The day-to-day lives of Christians and non-Christians aren’t that different. They eat breakfast, they go to work, they pay their bills, they watch TV, and they have the same sorts of problems. So why can’t they write about those problems? Most people have doubts about their relationships, doubts about themselves, doubts about their future, and so forth. But Christian musicians usually avoid these subjects. Instead they act like everything his hunky dory.
Again, I think part of this comes from their idea of Heaven. They imagine a place where they will be perfectly happy forever and ever. And what kind of music would there be in a place like that? Certainly not music that deals with all the dark feelings people face down here on Earth. So most Christian musicians only write music that would be allowed in Heaven.
Imagine how much wasted potential is in the Christian music industry.
Where’s the Creativity?
If Christians are really communicating with the Holy Spirit, the source of all love, wisdom, and creativity, then why does most of their music suck? Why isn’t he guiding these singers and songwriters and helping them to produce music that is creative and brilliant, and not so boring and predictable? You’d think they’d be cranking out new hits all the time.
Christians often teach that if you use your talents wisely, God will bless you with more. So why isn’t there more talent? Where are all the catchy melodies and mind-blowing guitar riffs? The Christian music industry should be overflowing with talented artists, but instead we get this crap.
Wouldn’t god want to make sure Christian music is good? If he could inspire people to write the Bible, why can’t he inspire people to write better songs? Wouldn’t better music be a great way of reaching more people? Because I don’t see many people converting to Christianity because of bands like Skillet.
Like I said, there are some good Christian songs. Lighthouse by Audio Adrenaline, Lost The Plot by Newsboys, In The Light by DC Talk (I was going to link to that video, too, but the audio was muted because of a copyright claim. So much for Christian music being all about the message.) But these songs are good, not because of divine inspiration, but because of the luck of the draw.
Freedom
So what do I listen to today? Whatever the fuck I want. I no longer think certain bands or radio stations are off limits. Why should I? I’m an adult. I think I can handle a little Marilyn Manson without freaking out and going on a killing spree.
Music is a very important part of my life. You might not think so if you met me, but I’m a very emotional person, and music helps me deal with those emotions. The good and the bad.
The day I listened to a secular rock station for the first time in two years, I started rediscovering who I really was. I’d been pretending to be this perfect, happy little Christian. But the truth is that I hated all my flaws and constantly asked Jesus to help me get rid of them.
Now that I’ve learned to accept myself for who I am, flaws and all, I’m a lot happier. I think all the Christian musicians out there would be more successful if they did the same.
I agree…to a point. Now Im a metalhead myself. I love some slayer and Rob Zombie, but I also listen to some christian bands too. Theres one called August Burns Red, and they actually talk about things like being frustrated and angry with things, and experiencing betrayal on a human level, and not every song points you to “the cross”. Plus musically they kick ass. But yeah the whole K love thing is pretty bland.
They suck. Turn that crap off.
I could not agree more. Christian music is inferior because it’s tendentious and is more concerned with the agenda than it is with the music. Putting “glorious” words to mediocre melodies doesn’t give you good music. It gives you nice words carried by a second-rate melody. And there’s a mismatch that sounds almost creepy. You get the feeling that you are being fooled into hearing a message just because it’s carried by a melody. But the melody is tawdry and mediocre, because the musicians care more about the words. That’s all there is to it. It would be like a new genre called “Dentist Music” with lyrics like “Brush your teeth/Floss them well, etc. . . . .”
I always get the feeling like the music is trying too hard …or missing something….or both.
It’s very legalistic to put Christian music into the dishonest category. It’s as if any other kind of music is allowed to exist by music that is dedicated to Christianity is a sin. It was never about not being allowed to listen to bands made up of those who don’t have life, it was simply about making good music that isn’t all about anger, etc. I listen to all kinda of bands and musicians, saved and not saved, from all over the world. So I have a better understanding of CONTEXT and music that had a pony to it, not just music thats emotional for the sake of emotional. I play Guitar, and have for years and the way I like to play is lively and free, my angry and pissed off, because I get enough of that crap at work from people Monday through Friday. So, when I want to listen to it play some good music, I don’t usually listen to ot play pissed off and angst. Here’s the thing, music is for everybody, you can’t try and manipulate people so that they will consider music that isnt emotional and angsty a sin. Why is it that Christians arent allowed to have music for them? Seema that everybody else gets to have their music, so why must we be forced to listen to only music you deem not a sin.
Insipid, syrupy sweet, overly emotional vocal performances, coupled with lyrical repetition, translates into tedious predictability. Embarrassing.
I’ve felt the same way. I’ve played in amateur and professional bands and have heard tons of Contemporary Christian Music. And it all sounds the same. Empty.
Brother its as if you and I have the same story. I too got rid of all my secular music when I became Christian. And I bought tons of Christian music in the following 3 years.
And like you, I’ve come full circle. My Christian CDs ended up sitting in the trunk of my car for over a year before I gave them away.
I cannot stand most Christian music these days. As a matter of fact, I often show up a half hour late for church in order to avoid the God awful opening worship set that most churches start their sermons with. When I do hear a Chris Tomlin or Hillsong joint, I immediately think “oh god not this shit again”. Lol
Anyway. Great post
Yep. I know the first 20 minutes of the Worship is going to be this overly earnest band playing empty melodies with overly repetitious empty chants. Way too many synthesizers. Too much bass and volume so they can sound “hip”. So I avoid that portion whenever possible. Give me the old hymns with some updated rhythms and instrumental breaks.
Great piece. I’m sitting at my favorite cafe which exclusively plays CCM. It’s the same sound that was on KLove 25 years ago.
CCM sucks because there’s no tension in it. There’s no expression of anger, doubt, fear, shame, regret, or pain. It wants to be happy, hopeful, and resolved withought passing through anything to get there. Like you said, it wants to act like we’re already in heaven.
It’s also too singular in its subject matter: praise. There is more to life than praising God and more to our relationship with God than praising Him 24/7. Imagine if there was a radio station and all they played were songs about some girl named Julie: how wonderful Julie is, how Julie is the prettiest, how much Julie loves Bobby and how much Bobby loves Julie. How long before we’d grow tired of Julie? Maybe wish Julie and Bobby would get in a fight or break just to present a fuller and truer picture?
Listen to Rich Mullins’ music if you want honest, raw lyrics and interesting themes!
The “K-Love” style praise and worship music is bland by design. The idea is that church congregations or individual believers are supposed to sing along to this stuff. As a result, the lyrics have the “feel good” quality that you describe. The melodies are restricted in to a mid-vocal range because most people in church congregations are not trained singers.
Wikipedia’s page on contemporary worship music has a pretty good analysis (with criticisms):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contemporary_worship_music
I went through almost the exact same experience you did. I was ok listening to secular music (except I got rid of NIN due to its content) but sold off most of my cds. But I’m also a musician and after years of playing Chris Tomlin (who I think is great btw), etc., as a musician, I pretty much have just had it with church music for a lifetime.
I never got into the ‘Christian’ copy bands of secular bands because I think they’re mostly fake as f*&#. They try to sound all angry or hip and shit and look cool and its still fake. All mainstream stuff that sign with the big 5 record labels or their off-shoots is garbage.
So I joined up with a band called Walk of Faith (I know…the name is ad nausem and I wanted to change it) but we rock face man and have dropped a pretty nice 2nd album since I joined and I like it. Its at the very least honest and yes it is inspirational and we have ‘Christian’ content in the songs but honestly, the reason why ‘Christian’ music is popular among Christians is because people consider it part of their walk and relationship with God. I just think here in America, we’ve bastardized it into this weak, pathetic, repetitive, emotional outlet buildups where the meaning isn’t really even considered. Its about getting lost in the sound and giving your money to the church and its pastors and that is, to me, the most disgusting part of the whole thing.
Christian music sucks because it is one dimensional and boring just like many Christians themselves. Here is how I would describe Christian music. It’s like asking the office brownnoser to compose a song for the boss at lets say his office birthday party. It would go something like this: He is so wonderful, he is incredible, he is really cool and he is not a fool. Predictable, boring and phony just like a minister’s church sermon. It’s the same basic message over and over again. Wouldn’t you get sick and tired of eating baked beans for dinner everyday? So in order to make the minister’s sermon or Christian music lyrics palatable a little something is added, just like adding pepper to baked beans, but the basic boring ingredients remain the same. Another reason that Christian music sucks is that it is restrictive. In the above example if someone were to say lets have steak instead of baked beans for dinner? The Christian answer would be that if the music does not reflect Christian values then it is forbidden. This means that the composer does not have free rein to his creativity and the result of his restricted efforts are a watered down mediocre version of his intended song.
Christianity is supposed to demand holiness from its followers. Modern Christianity SAYS they believe that, but they have redefined the word. Listen to what they say and watch what they do. Holiness to them is a spooky feeling of some sort, and they use this music to set that mood.
In the Bible, the essence of holiness is not a spooky feeling.
In the Bible, the essence of holiness is separation.
The items in the Temple help us to understand this principle. There are vessels, anointing oil, garments, incense and furniture that are set apart for a holy purpose. if you do a little study, you will see that God takes this separation very seriously.
Therefore, music set apart for God’s pleasure should be different from the music that is made for man’s pleasure. The purveyors of music in the Christian Entertainment Industry violate that Biblical principle. They grieve the very God they claim to serve.
Ok, modern worship sucks for a very good reason. It is being contemporary. And by contemporary I mean sounding like the garbage that has taken over the charts. Hillsong is basically a Christian night club with a sermon. It is really no secret that the 90s were the golden years of worship music, you had pretty much something that catered to all tastes of music. And it was congregational for the most part. There wasn’t solo singing and endless guitar solos to stretch out the songs. Of course it wasn’t all good, but a lot of good songs were simply let down by bad recording techniques (out of time clapping drowning out the music in most UK live albums) or the overly polished recordings that sounded like a bland studio recording. The thing was, back then, they were not aiming to sound like other music (worship that is, not CCM) People just wrote songs that were upbeat and soulful or worshipful.
The vast majority of it all sounds almost exactly the same. Probably best described as an extremely bland form of roots rock. Sort of in the vein of Hootie and the Blowfish of except it makes Hootie sound comparitively edgy.
hi there, thanks for writing this. it’s been a while since you did, and today is Easter 2020 (happy Easter!). i saw them having some kind of Christian concert on fox news and i couldn’t take even a single song. everything you say is true about Christian music. i think most of the ppl that sing Christian music do it for themselves and not for God and have convinced themselves otherwise. Christian music doesn’t give me chills like secular music does. i want that feeling from Christian music and i can’t stand it when they take words out of the Bible, words that by themselves give me chills, but turn it into something about as affecting as a pile of old newspapers that’s been sitting out in the rain for a day. these Christian songs don’t make me believe that they’re fighting a battle, a spiritual battle all the time. it makes me think they’re going to crumble at the first hint of a struggle against the devil, like they’ve never even been tested before.
i recommend pistol annies, (not heavy metal, country) and also creed, which i’m sure you’ve heard of. as far as heavy metal/rock…i’m still looking. nothing even comes close to godsmack or disturbed or slipknot or rob zombie. how can Christian music ever hope to succeed against these bands when their music is so weak? they sing about the cross and salvation and love, and Jesus experienced plenty of hatred and contempt and they brutally murdered Him. they tried stoning Him and He experienced betrayal. i’m sure He was misunderstood by plenty of ppl. nobody ever sings about any of that. all they ever sing about is the sweet victory, and not one word about the bitter battle. no wonder i can’t taste it.
Could not have said it better….I am intentionally 15 mins late to church because I abhor the worship music, and the body language I see among others…they feel the exact same. It is nauseatingly dull and boring. I’ve been quite frank with some of the leaders and they look at you like satan incarnate. I like the artistry of the Doors, AC/DC, etc….and drive into the church lot with it blaring. There ARE different emotions and experiences in the world, but Christian music addresses only 1. What that is i’m not sure, but only 1.
Never had that moment where I got rid of the cd’s and came back. But since youth(raised Lutheran), I started questioning the lyrics much more. I believe what a person listens to is a reflection of one’s soul; if you’re good, and honest, and happy, and sad/depressed, or whatever than you’re going to listen to and relate to music that reflects that. If you suck, or are hollow, or a liar, or full of shit, than you will listen to music that reflects that, or, nothing at all(because you are nothing).
Christian ‘Rock’/Christianity is a cult that only the stupidest, sickest, cowardly, most soulless assholes will associate with(After the age of reason; Not going to blame brainwashed children here). From Amy Grant’s little annoying cunt to ‘Casting Clowns’ or whatever they call this garbage nowadays. Modern pop is just as bad from a different angle; it teaches the same thing. Be dumb, do not make choices for yourself, have no real humility(just be humble when its convenient), be cowardly and don’t find out real world truth for yourself, and… SPEND MONEY! That’s right, keep that cash cow moving above all, as that’s really what it’s all about! Fuck Lady Caca, Adele, modern rap niggers, pretty much 99.9% percent of music from the last decade onward. And have a nice day;)
It’s inane, empty repetitive gruel, nothing more!