During my evangelical Christian phase, I prayed a lot. And I mean a lot. I’m talking an hour a day on my knees, another hour while I was driving to and from work, and even while I was doing other tasks that didn’t require too much concentration (things washing dishes or folding laundry). There are all sorts of Bible verses that tell us to pray, and Christian ministers repeatedly preach about the importance of prayer, so I was just being obedient (not to mention, prayer is a lot easier than actually going out and helping people).
Around this time I knew a guy (let’s call him “Jay”) who was an atheist. Whenever I spoke to him about Jesus he would quietly listen with an amused look on his face, as if he knew something I didn’t. He always asked annoying questions like “How do you know that?” Eventually it became clear that no amount of preaching was going to convince Jay to accept Christ, so I did what any good Christian would do: I prayed for him.
My prayers for Jay often went something like this: “Lord, please reach down and soften Jay’s heart. Help him to realize he’s a sinner in need of salvation. And if he comes to me for advice, please speak to him through me. Give me the words to lead him to you, so he can be saved. Amen.” There were lots of variations, of course, but that was the gist of it. I really thought if I prayed for him everyday and was sincere enough, the Holy Spirit might nudge him in the right direction.
Then one day a thought occurred to me: “Isn’t it a shame that most atheists don’t have someone praying for them? The atheists that aren’t being prayed for are more likely to go to Hell.” A sort of alarm bell went off in my head. That didn’t seem right. I was already struggling with doubts because of my questions about original sin, so it was hard to contain the other thoughts that arose from this one.
I imagined the following scenario: Let’s say there’s another atheist out there named Joe. He’s heard about Christ just as many times as Jay. In fact, the only difference between them is that unlike Jay, Joe doesn’t have anyone praying for him. At some point God finally answers my prayers and “softens” Jay’s heart, then Jay accepts Christ as his personal savior. The next day, Jay and Joe are both driving to work and they hit each other in a head-on collision. They both die instantly. Jay goes to Heaven, Joe goes to Hell. And the crucial difference between one receiving eternal bliss and the other receiving eternal torment is that one of them had someone praying for him. If Joe stood before God on judgment day, wouldn’t he be right to complain, “It’s not fair. No one prayed for me.”?
I thought about this a lot and couldn’t come up with a way to explain it without making God look unjust, no matter now much I prayed for wisdom. So I quit praying for Jay’s salvation. I still prayed, just not for people to be saved. But this caused me to start questioning why I should pray at all. God was going to do whatever he wanted, anyway.
Have you ever noticed that when Christians get what they pray for they’re quick to praise God, but when they don’t, they say God’s answer was “no” or that he “works in mysterious ways”? How convenient. You could get the same sort of results by praying to Joe Pesci.
And isn’t it interesting how when God does answer prayer, it’s always something that could have happened through pure coincidence? For example, your car breaks down and you need $2000 to fix it, so you pray to God for help. The next day you get an unexpected bonus at work for exactly $2000. Sounds like a miracle, right? Until you find out this sort of thing also happens to nonbelievers. They call it a lucky break.
Here’s another example: Your spouse has cancer and you pray to God to heal him or her. Then at the next doctor appointment you find out the cancer has gone into remission. This is one of the most common “miracles.” But cancer goes into remission on its own all the time. Why can’t God heal something that would never get better on its own, like a lost limb?
Even after realizing all this I still prayed everyday (it’s a tough habit to break), but now I was hedging all my prayers by saying things like, “If it’s in your will” or “If it’s part of your plan.” The more I did this, the more asking for things from God seemed silly. If I asked for things that were already part of God’s divine plan, then my prayers were redundant. If I asked for things that weren’t part of God’s divine plan, then my prayers were futile.
Eventually I quit asking for things when I prayed. It seemed both pointless and selfish. Instead I just talked to God. I figured prayer wasn’t a time to ask for things, but a time to commune with God (although Matthew 21:22 often haunted me while I was trying to pray). So I would talk to him about my day, about my problems, about my hopes and dreams, and so forth. Sometimes it feels good to talk to someone, but talking to God isn’t very satisfying. No matter how much you talk to him, he never replies. I found talking to friends and family was far more productive. They actually offered sympathy and advice.
Gradually I prayed less and less. It took years to stop completely. Even when I identified as an agnostic, after a hard day I would sometimes begin a short prayer with, “God, if you’re there…” Now I can’t even remember the last time I prayed, and I don’t miss it.
For the sake of argument, let’s say I’m wrong about all this. Let’s say God is there and that it’s possible to change his mind by praying to him. After all, the Bible says Abraham did it. Originally, God was only going to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if Abraham could find 50 righteous people living there, but Abraham haggled him down to 10. (Genesis 18:23-33). But then you have to ask, what sort of benevolent God needs convincing to help people?
The truth is, prayer is a waste of time. Every hour spent in prayer is an hour you could have spent reading a book, or spending time with friends and family, or actually going out into the world and helping people yourself. Don’t waste another minute in prayer when life has so much more to offer.
The power of prayer made me an atheist.
Amen to THAT! Pray as if everything depends on G – D, ACT as if everything depends on YOU!
I am a christian. And i feel the same way. And still looking for the right answer for this.
I’m a born again skeptic. I listen to the “gospels” of Randi, Shermer, Harris, Dawkins, Hyman, Wiseman and Hawking for inspiration.
i have been praying a lot
for Justice to a Family that has been cruel and abusive to me
for doing good and making money with my business
for recovery of depression and not having to take pills
for owning my own home
for my father to do a 180 and start treating me like he treats my sisters who are bad people and he bought them homes
nothing
NOTHING
1.JUSTICE? I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TONS OF SHIT HAPPENING TO ALL WHILE DOING THE ROSARY–I PRAYED FOR MY FINANCES TO RECOVER AND FOR CHRIST TO MULTIPLY MY INCOME AS HE MULTIPLIED BREAD
IMEADEATELY
A. GOT A HORRIBLE INFECTION HAD TO SPEND $ FOR A ROOT CANAL
B. I AM IN SPAIN AND ALWAYS TRAVEL WITH MY SERVICE ANIMAL IN TRAINS
WELL MY LUCK RAN OUT, THAT IS WHAT AN OFFICIAL AT THE BARCELONA STATION SAID AND I HAD TO SHELL OUT 600 USD FOR A CAB TO DRIVE ME TO VALENCIA
C. ALL OF THE WORK OF MY PAST 3 MONTHS IN PHOTOSHOP, HOURS AND HOURS WERE ERASED JUST LIKE THAT
all of this while I was praying the rosary every day
i came to the conclusion that praying brought me bad luck and praying the rosary really brought me a ton of problems one after the other….
so now, when I try to convince myself God loves me, i try to pray
i feel like a lunatic talking to myself
i a m confused and mad at God
why do all this happens to me and others do so well
bad luck?
specially that the people I see doing well are bad people
bad people sometimes have good luck
so prayer or no prayer , the will of God prevades
so why waste ur time if he is going to do whatever he pleases
So sorry for your string of bad luck. I’ve heard a lot of stories like yours. People pray fervently and the opposite keeps happening, and eventually, they realize that prayer just doesn’t work. The reason is that there’s no one up there listening to your prayers. You could pray to your refrigerator and get the same result. And like you said, even if there is a God, there’s no point praying if he’s going to do whatever he pleases. I hope things get better for you.
Nailed it! ”I don’t pray, because it can go either way”
I focus on being a good person.
THOUSANDS of people were saying prayers for my youngest daughter, Juliana, as she fought cancer EIGHT TIMES between 2007-2016. She DIED, at the age of 14, on October 24, 2016. I HATE GOD AND THE DECADES I BELIEVED WHAT THE BIBLE SAID ABOUT PRAYER, HEALING AND MIRACLES. I just want my Juliana back.
https://www.facebook.com/Angels-For-Juliana-250289225091998/
http://www.angelsforjuliana.com
Hi John. I stopped suddenly while scrolling down this comments page and saw your comment about your beautiful daughter who passed away far too young. My sincerest sympathies to you and your family. I too don’t believe in miracles but I’m not going to spew out what I believe in and don’t believe in, I just wanted to send you my sincerest heartfelt sadness for your terrible loss.
I am a born again Deist. sure there is a creative mind thing out there, but It just doesn’t give a ****
I totally agree that it does nothing especially if you pray for someone in their absence. Praying for yourself may help as it way boost self confidence.
If prayer worked amputees would grow back limbs. If prayer worked children would not die from cancer. Christians try to blame it on sin. If the Biblical god is omniscient he would know in advance every event and free will decision humans would make throughout time including the events in Eden and the entrance of sin in the world. He would know, even before he created the universe, that many millions of people would burn in hell from their free will choices. An omniscient god can never be a suprised god Why would a omniscient, merciful, loving god create people knowing well in advance that they will, by their own free will commit sin and burn in hell? He either allows suffering – so cannot be loving, or he is too weak a god to control evil – therfore isn’t worthy of worship, or he simply does not exist.
Thus far no god has been proven to exist. The Bible is a book of claims. It claims a god exists, it is not evidence a god exists. One cannot use a book of claims as evidence. What Christians need is unbiased, contemporary evidence to substantiate the events in the Bible but unfortunately for Christians every accredited archaeologists have shown the Bible to be embellished stories and revisionist history.
So true
Hi, i live in a third world country and i have health issues, i have asymmetrical face upper and lower jaw i also have derivative nose i am a university student with small money and there are no cosmetic surgeons in our country i should go to another country and i can’t do that because of financial problems and my family think i have the perfect face so they don’t give me money i also don’t believe in any super natural thing, what’s my hope? i have a doubt prayer don’t do anything for me , i think about this problem day and night what should i do?
Yes have prayer for a job as now II Thessalonians 3:10-12 describe me, am useless, just a burden. It would take a miracle for me to get a job, wonder deep down inside did Jesus died for my sins I doubt it as His Name does me no good in pray.